Happy April Fool's Day!

By John Z.

I am suggesting bringing back the Panthers. These rear-wheel-drive body-on-frame cars should have both turbocharged V-6 and turbocharged V-8 engines under the hoods. Bring back the Ford Crown Vic and call it the Ford Galaxie; the Mercury Grand Marquis and call it the Ford Park Lane; the Lincoln Town Car and call it the Lincoln MKL. For the Galaxie and Park Lane, I would do a medium wheelbase version at 212 inches long to sell against full-size family cars like the Chevrolet Impala, Buick LaCrosse, the V-6 Dodge Charger and Chrysler 300, a short wheelbase version at 197 inches long to sell against sports cars like the Chevrolet SS, V-8 Charger (i.e. the R/T and SRT8 versions) and 300 (i.e. the 300C, 300S and SRT8 versions), and a long wheelbase version at 227 inches long for much more space (especially for larger families, and importantly for police departments and taxi cab services). Now, for the MKL part, the short wheelbase version at 202 to sell against the Cadillac XTS, Audi A6, BMW 5-Series, Mercedes-Benz E-Class and Lexus GS, the medium one at 217 to sell against the XTS Platinum, A8, 7-Series, S-Class and LS, and the long one at 232 to sell against the Bentley Mulsanne and Rolls-Royce Phantom.