The Manliest Truck In The Known World

My truck: (as described in my manliest of voices)

It’ hard to describe just how cool my 2001 F-150 modified is, but I will attempt a description here for you. The comfort that I dwell in while driving is unmatched. The interior is made completely from the fur of little baby lion cubs. Of course no cubs we harmed I just swapped their hides for some Eddie Bower khaki pants. The lion cubs were quite pleased, and their parents were impressed.

The engine was slightly modified, and by that I mean I melted it down and re-cast it in the fires of Mordor. What was done cannot be undone. I have hired a rather short man with an English accent to drive me around as he seems to be the only one who can handle the new engine without being totally mesmerized and loosing control of his faculties. He goes by the name Fordo Wagons.

The body of the truck is made from a unique mixture of Apache helicopter pieces, atomic missile bits, Sherman tank bolts, and the spirit of a bald eagle which might I add was very hard to come by. I had to trade something very close to me, and I’d rather not mention it if you don’t mind.

The tire treads are 100% True John Wayne Grit, 55 million mile series, and they have been aired up with American Spirit which as we all know wont be deflated. My truck is fueled by determination, held together, with resolve, and weighed down by nothing.

My truck story may be a dream, but it’s an American dream so that’s okay. Stay awesome people. Stay awesome.

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George B Outstanding! I would like to rip this off an claim it as mine. However that would be wrong! Very cool story.
7 months(s) ago via
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